Last week I was able to indulge in familiarity. People, places, and just everything seemed the same, but not so much. This was my first visit back since I have relocated in New York.
I was thrilled, overwhelmed and cultured shock, believe it or not.
When people uttered something as, “She’s from New York,” it was strange because technically I’m from California, but now I live in one of the grandest cities of all. It’s stranger to be known as a “visitor” in your own hometown. Let alone a state you used to live in all of your life.
As I engage myself with my dearest friends and family, I was told that I was slightly different in numerous ways. That was inevitable, though. I know I have changed, especially some of my manners and habits – my inside voice tells me all the time. But it’s also striking when outsiders, outside of yourself I mean, tell you that you’re different. I believe it has so much to do with my experiences, and where I’m at in life. But I also noticed how my family and friends have changed, but are the same too.
That is the thing about moving – like any transition in life, once you’ve adapted to the new and unfamiliar, the old and familiar gradually becomes the unfamiliar and the unfamiliar becomes familiar. That is how I felt. Did I miss New York? A little, I missed my bed to be honest. Visiting my parents house I was on the sofa by choice because I was not down to go halfsies with my sister. New York is my home now and I love it – ghetto, glamorous and all.
The sad part about moving thousand miles away is unable to say, “I will see you in thirty minutes.” Because I’m not quickly accessible; I am a five to six hour-flight away. Along with that, it is scary to witness my younger siblings grow and mature without me. The show must go on, and I cannot expect the world to stop for me due to my absence and after all, it was my decision to move. But it’s kind of sad. This is one thing I need work on – learning how to let go a little, and stop trying to control what is predictable and when life is in control. I cannot help it my Type-A personality, okay? Gosh, I know this post sounds super depressing.
Trust me, it’s not. It’s rather a quick reflection upon myself and a say for me to recharge myself. But really the moral of the story is accepting the fact that California is now unfamiliar in some ways.
(Although I was not able to see everyone I was hoping to due various reasons, it was still a great yet exhausting trip. I really don’t know when I will be back, but I hope I will make another trip later this year, because damn almost a year without seeing family and friends is freaking brutal).
Anyway, thanks for checking in for a read! Until next time my Californian loves. Thank you for those who made the time for me.
PS: today I started a new chapter (sorta) as I got back to New York. It is truly exciting and I cannot wait to see what awaits for me and my career!