If you asked me if I own any black underwear six years ago, my answer would have been “No.” Black underwear.

It just makes me giggle thinking about it. What do you think of when you think of black underwear? 

The first time I ever heard of the whole “black underwear only means one thing” was my first year in college. And that day, my shirt was see-through and I was wearing black stockings. But from afar, looked like a freshman in blank panties. Yup. 

Mind you, then, I was inexperienced, naive. “Innocent” for the lack of better terms.

Apparently high school students then (and now) were engaged in alcohol, drugs and sex. Where was I? My circle of friends (at the time) and I were a bunch of nerds. Well, I am still a nerd. We were different in a good way.

Just a group of straight-edge kids. blacnkpanties

That changed, though.

My college friends witness the “innocent” piece of me. They witnessed the first time I was drunk. The girl who seriously asked, “What are blue balls?” The girl who was the one of three who was a virgin at 18. And, I remember vividly when I had to sing “Like A Virgin” in front a group of people. 

Damn, on blast. 

Back to the whole black-underwear-thing. Now, I own one or two. And it’s an underwear, not a laced thong. An underwear. 

Finally, six years later.

It’s a symbol for personal growth and my openness to talk about my dating life and sexuality. Over the years, people have witnessed me grown into this young woman. 

Some may say I’ve changed drastically or don’t even know who I am anymore. If I met me today, I wouldn’t know who I am either. I, we, all have encountered experiences that altered us in some way. Minor or major. 

I wouldn’t say I am entirely a new person. Just grown up. I love who I am today. Sure, I’m crazy sometimes. And often, I don’t have a filter thought-process, but overall, I would say I am pretty awesome.

The confidence came with age, too by the way! 

What inspired this black underwear post? This thought came up while I was talking to B about dating and sex. Clearly a subject I am fascinated about. A couple of late-bloomers in our twenty-somethings doing what twenty-somethings are “supposed” to do. Explore. Live. Enjoy!

So back to the statement: black underwear can only mean one thing.

Happy Hump Day, Readers! Pun intended.

*Artwork done by S.

She said, “Chary, I need to speak to you.”

My palms got sweaty, and I felt a weird feeling in my stomach. What is going to happen?

“Please close the door behind you.”

I sat down afterwards. Here I was, sitting in front of my internship supervisor, the Lead Publicist, at the office. (This was my first internship in Los Angeles and getting exposure in Marketing and Public Relations). So, this was kind of a big deal.

She began her opener with a series of questions regarding my performance. She said I was always in a rush to leave. I left my assignments incomplete and filled with errors. Those were the two that I was absorbed after her whole shpill.

Ah, crap.

I take the heat. I apologized and told her I won’t make the same mistakes again. Although she was ruthless with her constructive criticism, she also asked me how was I doing and how I felt.

I couldn’t hold back. A ball went up my throat. 

I began to tear up and sob. I told her my commitments and how overwhelmed I was with everything.

The reason(s): I was taking my CAP STONE course Comm 464, which was the last upper division class. The make or break. The class was very time consuming. I was in a group throughout the entire semester and we had to develop PR campaigns for two different clients.

The only difficulty I had was trying to find balance in my schedule: work, client meetings, other homework for classes, and the internship. (I was committing 32 hours a week to commute to LA). Not to mention, trying to find time to really enjoy being a college student. Just a series of a lot of things that built up.

Luckily, my Supervisor K understood what motions I was going through. She actually went to Cal State Fullerton, too and she knew what a big commitment was for Comm 464.  

The entire time I was terribly embarrassed. I just cried. In front of my Supervisor. 

Chary, what the hell just happened?

We moved forward. I executed her office. I ran straight to the restroom to clean myself up. Luckily, this was at the end of the day and I can go home afterwards.

It replayed in my head: did you just cry? You cried, dude.

What did I learn from this experience? I can list a few:

              1. Know your commitment(s).
              2. Always have an open communication with your Supervisor. If you have a lot going on, let him/her know.
              3. Ask questions if you know you are unsure of any tasks you are unfamiliar with. Don’t always assume they know what you’re doing. Be honest with yourself.
              4. Work harder and suck it up. Leave your personal affairs out the door when you’re at the work place.

Go figure, right? Yeah. It’s obvious. After this, I told myself I will never, ever cry again in a professional setting.

And I have not (and will not). Yay, me!

Happy Monday, Folks! Let’s get this week rolling (:

For those who don’t know, I am not Filipino or Hawaiian. I get both frequently due to my skin tone and my friends, but usually due to my darkness. Brown girl.

Anyway, I don’t know if I ever mentioned this, but I’m not very cultured within my Cambodian-ness. Is that even a word? Here’s some background for ya: I grew up going to the temple and engaging in all the traditions for the sake of my parents. I do it strictly for them, and apparently it is for good karma for future generations, so I do that.

My parents are very traditional when it comes to the whole religion aspect, but as we got older, my parents bent their rules on raising us a little. Although we have many customs, my parents are very easy-going when it comes to our (my siblings and I) lifestyles. They may not agree with a lot of things, but as long as we make smart decisions, s’all good.

Long story short, this year, went to our local temple, which is only Two-Years Old, to celebrate another New Year with the Cambodian community. It’s kind of nice to see so many familiar faces. Especially seeing my Grandma’s girlfriends, who are still around.

It is always the same, “You’re so big now!” It’s refreshing to see all the elderly people who you grew up with. Not even my relatives!

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Just some photos I wanted to share from last weekend’s celebrations. I have to admit, our costumes are beautiful and unique. To some extent our costumes share some similarities to the Thai culture. It was a bittersweet feeling to not partake in the parade this year, but it was an honor passing the crown to my little sister, who was the Queen.

Oh, and for the record, my Dad is not so much a festive man nor is he one to take photos. This was pretty cool to capture him with my younger siblings and mommy.

I’m rambling, goodness. Okay, I’ll stop.

Cheers to another blessed, Year!

love,
charypie

If you consider shooting a smile and saying, “Hi” to a stranger is flirting, then I am a Pro.

That was my opener from my very first story about my dating portion of my life. You would think someone who is actively dating knows a thing or two about flirting. But really, I am trying to analyze and understand the art of flirting.

And I have nothing, ya’ll. 

What is considering flirting?

flirt

I don’t know. I honestly do not think I can flirt. With dating right now, I cannot tell if someone is flirting with me or not. I am very much like, “Hey, you’re cute and smart. I like that.” I’m quite forward. But I don’t think that’s flirting. I imagine flirting very much playing coy and well, cute. Me? I’m assertive and have quite a potty mouth.

And have you heard me laugh? I hear myself and sometimes I have this inner monologue about my terrible obnoxious laugh.

I even texted D the other day, “Can you teach me how to flirt?” He thought I was joking. Nope..

Yeah, yeah, you all think I am kidding. Chary “can’t” flirt, pish-posh. Pffft. Ask my best friends, they know I can’t. My mannerisms are so strange at times that my guy friends think it’s odd when I am approached by a guy…

But I am easily amused and my sense of humor is strange. So Guys, literally Guys, don’t get so flattered when a woman is laughing at your jokes. She can be one of two things: easily amused (like myself), or playing nice. Ah, and well I know a thing or two playing nice.

Often times, being friendly gets as blurry as flirtatious.

That is the problem. I never been directly been called a flirt, but because I am (sometimes) well-mannered and (sometimes) nice so people might confuse it with being flirty. Shut up.

Anyway, so why am I bringing this up? Because, it bothers me that I cannot greet someone with no freaking intentions and someone label that gesture as “flirting.”

Or when someone is simply complimenting you, “I think you’re attractive.” Does that automatically mean they want to hook-up with you or take you out? No, right? See. I can’t just express my greetings or give out compliments or something?

What do you think? What is considering flirting? What are some of the signs of flirtation? How do you flirt? (If you flirt?). Share your thoughts with me, please!

I will admit though, I only used my polar bear line once for that dashing young fella. That, I know my only intention was to simply break the ice and introduce myself with no further agenda.

*artwork done by S. 

It is certainly okay to agree to disagree, but let’s (try) not take anything personal.

As the saying goes, “haters gon hate.” I am sure there’s people that do not agree with what I am about to do with my life. Or even what I am currently doing now. But the next few months are going to be a slow ride until the drop hits.

This person who disagrees with you may be your Mom, boyfriend, best friend, cousin, Dad – hell, anyone and everyone.

But it’s not their decision to make about your life. We all need remember that.

agree_to_disagree

You see, I am trying to get over the fact that not everyone I meet is going to meet me eye-to-eye. I need to accept that. I’m working on it, foreal.

I have to make changes and take those risks that will benefit me. Selfish. Oh, so selfish, but at this point I really don’t care what anyone thinks right now.

And with the millions of questions I get about my next big thing. How are you going to do that? Do you have a Plan B? What if you fail?

That’s the thing. I don’t know if I will succeed or fail. There is a lot of room for uncertainty. But you don’t know if you will fail or succeed if you don’t attempt. So, attempt! Try! Go!

They will never understand. Some will try to stop you. Belittle your dreams. There will be people who will say things that will try to deteriorate your positive thoughts towards your dreams.

Disregard. Forget it. Forget them.

I always appreciate advice and tips. And I know they are only reacting to big life events or big decisions because they care. I get it, I do. However, I am resistant to rules and how I should live my life. Not even my own parents dictate how I live my life. Why would I allow anyone else?

I was never good with conventional things, rules, or lifestyle anyway. So… yeah.

People question me and my motives. As I am explaining to them, their expression changes. Some facial expressions clearly speak louder than any words have to. I get it: you don’t get it. And you know, it’s okay. It really is okay. No hard feelings!

I am not going to let the vibes affect me. Keep doing me. Keep chasing my dreams. Don’t let anyone get in the way of what you want and what makes you happy.

Closing this post with two relevant quotes that resonates with me:

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*artwork done by S.

Mom_me

I forget that my Mom & I are both Aries women. It would explain why we butt heads so much due to our dominant personalities.

Today is a very special day to an important woman in my life, my mother. This is sad to admit, but I actually don’t know how old is my my mom is. You know how older people are – lying about their age.

Birthdays and aging has always been a scary thought for me to digest. Because as we are celebrating another year older, so are our parents and just them getting old kind of scares me. A little. A lot. A whole lot, actually.

I am getting all sentimental, when really my intention for this post is to write happy things about my Mom! Although I’m certain that she would never see what I am writing in this post, let me pour my heart out for a second.

Honestly, I don’t know if I can find the right words to describe her. She’s quite a paradox, very much like myself. But you know what they say, “Like mother, like daughter.”

She always scolded me, “No boyfriends until you graduate.” Well, a diploma and degree later, I’m still single. No really, on a serious note, the way she raised me explains exactly how I am today. Our parents and childhood plays a heavy influence when growing up. I never understood half the things she was saying when I was younger. It was not until I endure the different stages in my young adulthood, where I began to appreciate her firm words.

I owe a lot to this woman. Thank you, Mom.

With my Dad’s absence growing up, my Mom took the role of being both parent figures and raised my three younger siblings and I.  “I have two hands and two feet. I can do it myself.” My mom always knew how to put a good fight. I love the fact that she won’t allow anyone to take pity on her, especially since she’s ill. Keep on, she reminds me.

She’s my backbone. My rock. My number one cheerleader in the stands. Even when I don’t even play sports…

I can go on-and-on how my mom has shaped me and how much  she means to me, but I’ll keep it brief before I start balling my eyes out at work. I’m not wearing waterproof mascara…

So here it is: Happy Birthday, Mommy. I love you with all my heart!

I sent her a birthday text message, I bet you she won’t even reply…

Thanks for reading, Friends!

Tomorrow is April 1st.

I am trying to finish this post before I go to bed – it’s like almost 9:30PM.

Where did the time go, seriously? March was filled with many highs, and lately Life has been a series of highs. A part of me feels like I haven’t been this happy in awhile. I am utterly, happy!

Wanted to share some moments with you this month:

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Published a story that is not on my platform! If you didn’t catch it, click here.

TheCouchConfessions_1Was on a special guest on Couch Confessions. If you missed that episode, check it here.

Processed with VSCOcam with p5 presetChopped a few inches off my hair with my wonderful hairstylist, Stacie.

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Finally got to do something exciting at work – model casting!

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Celebrated my birthday with some amazing people in my life!

Little things that I don’t have visuals for:

  • Paid off my credit card
  • Opening myself to dating
  • Purchased my Outside Lands ticket (this is HUGE)
  • Finally told my parents about my Big News
  • Drafted some work for submissions – again!

March was definitely a memorable month, and I made sure I embraced every second of it. Ended the month right!
I hope April is just as eventful and challenging, altogether. To April! Cheers!
Thank you for reading, Friends! Goodnight!
love, charypie

Jessica, BlogWithBenefits.com follow: @BlogWithBenefits @yessicadruck
The Couch Confession: DavidRob & Tony subscribe: Youtube.com/TheCouchConfessions 

My advice to myself then and my advice to you now is to be fearless. You can’t screw up so badly that anything you do is irrevocable. Its so much more interesting to be daring and to try new things and to be the young hot shot who knows stuff that nobody else knows because you have been bold enough to try something new. The best thing about 25 is that you have endless time and energy to pursue every single interest that you have. Don’t feel like you’re locked in. Don’t let anyone else lock you in.

Ann Shoket

So, you’re not twenty-five yet. Who cares! I still find this quote applicable to anyone who is in their twenties or anyone in general. “Be fearless.” Just one short phrase yet so thought provoking altogether. Inspiring even.

Think about it.

And if you’re a magazine (media, social media, and all that) junkie like myself, check out her interview here by the HuffingtonPost, which by the way is my go-to source for articles every morning.

And finally, it’s Thursday.

Bye, Friends! Thanks for reading (:

TWENTY-SOMETHING THINGS I LEARNED FROM BEING TWENTY-SOMETHING:

20_somethings

In honor of becoming another year older (and hopefully wiser), I wanted to acknowledge some things I learned along the way.

                  1. People come and go, about every 4-5 years.
                  2. Forgiveness and letting go is the key to inner peace.
                  3. Do what makes you happy.
                  4. Coffee will change your life and brighten your day.
                  5. Don’t take family for granted.
                  6. Appreciate everything life has to offer – the good and the bad.
                  7. Effort goes a long way.
                  8. When in doubt, go with black.
                  9. Know when to speak up and know when to shut up.
                  10. Question everything.
                  11. Remind yourself that you are beautiful.
                  12. The past does not determine where you will go.
                  13. Be selective with your time.
                  14. Hold your ground.
                  15. Power naps (15-30 minutes) are crucial for survival.
                  16. The good will always outweigh the bad.
                  17. Beer never tasted so good.
                  18. Be open to love and new relationships.
                  19. Throw on some lipstick.
                  20. Believe in the power of the mind.
                  21. Pay close attention.
                  22. Help people in any way you can.
                  23. The age where I had the best time of my life.
                  24. No one is stopping you, but you. Just do the damn thing.

The thought of entering my “mid-twenties” sounds terrifying, but I hope it will be a great adventure. I am ready for you!

Typically, I am not huge on birthdays, but I figured, why not? Every now and then, I enjoy being devious. Lately I been feeling like Jim Carrey from Yes Man. My question is, “What do I have to lose?”

Thank you for reading, Friends.

Always with Great Love,
charypie

*artwork done by S.

I used to be for New Year’s Resolutions. Now I just think they are completely overrated.

Most people cannot even obtain the resolution(s) they make with the first three months. And I know I am a terrible person for doing and saying so, but I mock some people. Mainly because my philosophy is you should practice being a better, healthier you every single day.

But I used to be one of them, the whole New-Year-Resolutions-people. I came to conclusion that it is okay for me to tease about it since I was once guilty…

Does that count? 

We are talking about habits today. Habits are practices that can be good and/or bad. But what justifies a bad or good habit? That is up to you. Old habits die hard, the saying goes. Heck, yeah.

habits

On my path to self-discovery, I learned that I developed better habits and not-so-pretty ones along the way. You probably think I am crazy, but I do analyze every spec about myself and my actions. Because I believe it is important to know oneself.

I wanted to focus on five habits I wanted to better myself in:

          1. Be mindful when dropping the f-bomb.
          2. Breathe before reacting and responding.
          3. Be patient.
          4. Stop worrying.
          5. LEARN TO slow down.

Maybe these are too vague and generic. Maybe they are not considered “bad” habits at all, but to me, these are some things I need to continue to work on.

I always remind myself this: be the type of person you want to meet. Read it a couple of times if that helps. For me, I want to meet someone who is well-mannered, kind and a whole lot more! I know it sounds tedious – to really thinking about all the qualities you want in someone, but it helps you figure out what qualities you seek and what you hope to acquire.

I want to be better. 

Ultimately, be a better you each and every day. If you recognize a flaw with your character, work towards improving yourself.

Keep growing. Keep bettering yourselves, Friends!

Happy Monday! The weather and it being Monday does not help so much, though. Err!

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