Category Archives: lifestyle

8Tracks, and new music finds to share

personal day?

February 15, 2018

I feel stupid for saying this, but I actually don’t know how to take a “personal day”.

I am addicted to my work. Sometimes I feel like my work defines me, but I am also learning in this adulting process is that You are You and Your Work is Your Work and the two don’t overlap often.

But it can, can’t it?! I feel like my worlds integrate a lot, and I am my work. I write, connect, strategize, create. I am my work, right? 

Anyway, I am writing about this because I am going through a lot lately. Friends tell me to take a day off and relax, and I can’t help, but feel the need to be productive…

Back to the whole I am not feeling mentally well thing – please note I am also not the type that is like woe is me. I do feel like I’ve reached my breaking point, and in this very moment, I am not the best version of myself.

And it makes me sad to even write this. 

You know, it gets very exhausting to front the whole “I am okay” face to the World. My good friend, Tran, said that self-care is a skill. Let that soak in: a skill.

A skill I have yet mastered, apparently.

After reading so many self-care articles, I do believe self-care is beyond the bubble baths, face masks, and all these fine luxurious shit that you see on social media. Honestly, I actually don’t know if being in a bubble bath will actually calm my thoughts…

To me, self-care means learning to say “no” and put yourself first, constantly working on healthy thoughts, disconnect if need be, and the rest I am still learning, obviously.

So while I have been a complete mess these last couple of weeks and have been fully transparent about my emotional state undergoings (is this even a word?) on Twitter, I am being mindful about actionable next steps.

I question myself with – what makes me feel better? What makes me happy? What relaxes me? That is a start.

As I transition into this uncertainty stage of my life, once again, I am very thankful by the abundance of support. It really means a lot to me when I feel like I am alone sometimes and I feel like I am not going to be okay. Although you tell yourself affirmations and things will be okay, sometimes hearing it from loved ones, makes you feel better!

I am going to be okay.

Thanks for reading, family and friends. Until next time – and I got a juicy one for you!



stop policing my vagina hair

January 17, 2018

I was recently engaged in a conversation with a man who made a comment about his preference in body hair down there –

Yes, y’all – I am talking about pubic hair. He asked me why don’t go bare, which is a genuine question and I told him it was not my preference. But his next comment made me upset: Bare is easier for men and they would appreciate it…

Well, isn’t that subjective? I met a variety of men who have all sorts of preferences… so, what the?

When I was younger, I used to participate in the whole Brazilian wax thing. It would cost me as equally as an all-you-can-eat sushi meal with tip. I did this because at the time, I did think men prefer bare, but it also gave me this indescribable confidence. 

Now, in my late-twenties, I can give less fucks about what a man wants / prefers. And I don’t have this free-money to play with like I did in college (read: financial aid). It’s my damn body and if I am going bare – it will be for me. But honestly, I haven’t gone nude and bare in a very long time. I’m in this stage where I’ve grown into myself and body, comfortably. And that confidence? Still there with some hair.

I do remember this one time, I went bare and my ex-boyfriend, who we don’t like, said why do I go bare? You look like you’re 12.

So, damned if you do and damned if you don’t, eh?

Can men, and people altogether stop policing our body hairs? If we chose to keep our full-on armpit hairs, on our private parts, our chest, our ass cracks? Let us live.

I am so sick and tired of men telling me to do shit with MY body. The moment you make a comment about my body, I am just going to stop you right there and walk away, literally.



a rotten tomato

November 23, 2017

As of late, my responses have been the same when people ask me how I’m doing.

I am stressed. 

I’m doing good. 

I am good – just exhausted. 

It sounds like this auto-generated response that has ingenuine, but that is literally how I am feeling inside. I am well, though.

You all know I have transitioned into a new role since my grand post about quitting the company that I was miserable in. As much as I enjoy the work that I am doing now and feeling more fulfilled in life, the work load is hefty. I work long hours and my headspace is very minimal for everything else.

I remind myself that I am in another completely field, in a mid-to-senior level role and imperative responsibilities, and during the Holiday season, it’s truly busy. I tell myself: this is only temporary, it will get better. As words of comfort.

It is not that I am not afraid of working hard – I have witnessed that from my mother my entire life.

I am just tired. I am starting to feel burned out...And I am only twenty-fucking-seven! I know, I know, I sound like a complete brat.

The real sad part is, I have been too tired and uninspired for my craft and life. To have that written makes me upset because I have always had this massive appetite for life and to feel “meh” is like…whoa, who am I? 

With writing, I have a couple of stories up my sleeve, but I haven’t had the time and be in the zone to put it into words and truly make that effort to do so.  A part of me feels guilty because I am bitching about how mentally exhausted I am most days, but if I prioritize my writing and craft, it can be done…

A pipe dream, I think. I know I am deliberately letting my passion slip away before me. Okay, that sounds more dramatic than what I mean, but you know what I mean. Even on Thanksgiving Holiday, my head is about work and how much I have to do before I get back on Monday.

Work has always been all-consuming for me. I think a lot of people my age who live in New York are the same way – fucking grinders and hustlers trying to make things happen for themselves. So maybe the way I am feeling is natural?

It got me thinking how do side-hustlers do it all? How do you maintain a day-job and still pursue your passions and dreams? All I can think of, lack of social and personal life, and no sleep. What is going to my sacrifice is the lead up question here…

Anyway – my closing thought is this question to you: how do you get inspired? I’d love to hear what y’all have to say and help me out. I need to get back on my fucking game.


slow the fuck down

April 24, 2017

I have this tendency to rush through things because I am thinking what’s next. That is not to say I am not ever present, because I am. Especially in the age we are in – so digitally connected, I have held back a lot on social media to be mindful of my present experiences.

Not everything needs to be documented. 

But I was having this conversation with Tiffany yesterday at the park, like how we rushed into adulthood, and I confessed that I have always ushered myself to grow the fuck up. It would explain why I am the way I am, but also why at 27 I feel slightly burnt out. I shouldn’t even feel this way because I am still in my prime, tender years, but no, I feel old inside.

At the same time … 

The hustle is real everyday, genuinely, I am teaching myself to slow down when I can, which are the late evenings and on the weekends. Little things such as treating myself to that extra hour of sleep or having a decent breakfast before I rush to be a Weekend Warrior. This is all part of this ongoing self-care practice that I’ve been pushing myself to be mindful of and do constantly.

I have to say, being impatient and rushing, has always been embedded in me. New York has deepen this flaw of mine, ha! Time has always been luxurious to me and though we all have the same amount of time, it is how we use our time is makes us all different, right? If we are being productive and impactful.

Perhaps that is why I want to do much as I can within my awake hours, and go to sleep proudly when I reflect on how accomplished day was. I just want to maximize my time, man.

This is a random post, but my intentions were to make you think about your self-care routines and do you ever slow down?

If you don’t – this me telling you so. Slow the fuck down. 




hi, wsup, wsuh, what’s good

January 16, 2017


Damn, it’s been awhile hasn’t it? 

My bad. You know what they say? Life happens.

Visiting my parents and friends last months made it harder to leave California this time. I think also because I was in a very vulnerable state and needed an escape. In all, wonderful trip and I wish I can go back because of the warmer weather, but I am happy to be back at home doing my thang. Came back to New York and left all the shit that I dealt with back in California.

The last couple weeks of 2017 has been great. A friend told me I was glowing. GIRL, GLOW UP. Just kidding.

It has been great because work has been better – finally getting a grip – and is growing! I finally learned how to balance life and work – stay tuned with an upcoming story.

Thecnnekt got a facelift, exciting upcoming content (we just filmed our first interview!), and just a lot of that new, new. Hella thrilled. #StayTuned


I was not kidding when I said I was embarking a clean slate – it certainly feels like it. I am just excited to see what this year will bring. A whole lot of newness and goodness despite what is going in the World.

I just quickly wanted to check in and say: I am alive. I am better.

BTW when you’re in some type of mood.

When you can tell your story and it doesn’t make you cry, that’s when you know you’ve healed. – Unknown


2017: The Year of Focus & Action

December 25, 2016

I am writing to you from my parents’ sofa on Christmas Eve. Streaming Hunger Games Mockingjay part two, and my ass is glued to this very seat for the last five hours. It feels good, but watching show after show made me feel like I needed to be productive and flex my creative muscle.

So viola! 

Disclosure, I started on this draft a couple weeks ago on the F train to Brooklyn. But I began refining as the days went on. After reading through my last post, it only made sense for me to write about what to look forward to in the New Year.

By tradition, I come up with an annual theme and center my goals around something that really needs attention on. In 2014, I told myself it was okay to be selfish. In 2015, I was becoming a better woman. In 2016, I heavily practiced intentions. In 2017, I intend to stay focus and take action. 

Generally though, I have to say, I am a pretty actionable woman, but could use some discipline in being focused.

Finances – I have accrued so much debt in the last couple of years. Good and bad decisions altogether. But when I closely look at my finances, I want to make better decisions and set myself up for a healthy credit score. In order for me to do this and making above minimum credit payments, I devised a plan of how to slowly tackle my debt. This means less coffee purchases, fancy dinner dates, and fast-fashion consumption (this is very rare btw). But in short, to be more mindful of my purchases and make financial goals for myself – like save up for a trip in 2018.

Health – this category encompasses the mind, body, and soul. I haven’t trained as hard as I used to. For many reasons, but as I hear myself say repeatedly, “I have no time,” yet I make time for drinking engagements that does more damage to my body than good. I need to stop bitching about having no time because clearly I do. I know it’s often cheesy and one of the primary goals for the New Year is to drop pounds, but I am not here to say that I am one of those individuals. It is more like staying healthy and fit because it makes me feel good. Just do better because I know I am capable of it. As far as my mind and soul, just practicing old affirmations and do what makes me feel good and happy. 

Personal development –  I have always struggled with being compassionate with myself. The reason for this is because I know I can do better and have this tough love attitude with myself (it is embedded in me, okay). I didn’t realize how crippling I was talking and treating myself until a friend pointed it out. I am fully aware about self-love and all this jazz, trust me. But right now, I need to reteach myself all these wonderful old lessons. I want to continue to be bolder, expand my knowledge, and volunteer in the community more. Yes, that means being an advocate and/or activist. Lastly to really outdo myself, truly get out there more and step out of my comfort zone – learn a new skill or pick up a new hobby. This falls into the “be bold” part. 

My goals this year are a little more elaborative compared to the previous years. I don’t know where this profound motivation and this need to conquer came from, but these last few months, I’ve gain more clarity than throughout the year, and set myself up for success. I am done bitching about these last two months and how emotionally exhausting it has been. Enough talking, more walking if you know what I mean.

Closing this entry with this message in case any of my friends are going through some rough patches of their own:

One day, in retrospect, the year of struggle wills trike you as the most beautiful. – Sigmund Freud

With love,


2016 in a nutshell

December 17, 2016

The year is coming to an end and by tradition, I reflect what has happened in the last 12 months. Things I’ve learned, succeeded – you know, all that emotional, provoking shit. 

Tiffany and I explored Dyker Heights last Friday and we talked about our year. While she and I are going through changes, we had to look deeper. It was actually a great year for the both of us.

This is typical right? Where we are often fixated on the things we don’t have than the wonderful things we do have. 

I get extremely annoyed with myself when I forget to check myself – that is count my blessings. It’s so easy for us to get wrapped up in the negativity and spiral down from there. Enough of that, my pits (lows) and peaks (highs) of 2016: the Year of Intention. 


  • a lot of family time; Houston this past summer was one of my favorite memories. Everyone all dolled up for my aunt and uncle’s anniversary party and getting drunk and high with my cousins. No more chocolate. Ever. 
  • Travelled more than I thought I would’ve. Quick weekend getaways, but that’s better than nothing. Seattle, The Bay, Virginia, and DC
  • Launching thecnnekt, obviously. A project I’ve had in the works for a very long time and to see the success right now always makes me wanna cry because this is something I never saw coming and just fulfills me in ways I cannot express to you. Truly excited to see the growth of the project next year 
  • Falling in love. This is something I rarely highlight because I’ve displayed my affection on social media when I was in that relationship. But it’s true, one of the best feelings is love and I’m so thankful I’ve got to experience that. I feel like I overcame this fear of being vulnerable with someone. But I have to say after this experience, I need to focus on myself for awhile.  
  • #Girlboss moves. This year I recognized my value. The year where I put my foot down and asked for more pay, sought a title change, and made a lateral move.


  • Election 2016. You already know how I feel. I’m still angry. 
  • Lost my job. Only because I wasn’t in control and really put my finances in a rut. It made me realize to always a Plan B and devise a Fuck Off Fund
  • Break ups are rough.

I believe life has a way of figuring itself out. This will pass, is what I remind myself. 

I don’t say this often about myself, but yeah, I am pretty badass!

As I begin to draft ideas for 2017, I am excited to see what’s in store for me. Went through a lot personally and professionally this year, so I am hoping next year I can catch a fucking break. Plus, I’ll be creeping in my “late twenties” which I am so excited about. Very excited (:


I mean, I’ve been grown, but now when I say I am in my late twenties people will look at me more respectable and not categorized me as a “baby.” 

K, bye.


sex and the city

October 16, 2016

It’s Sunday night and I just finished hanging out with Carrie, Miranda, Samantha, and Charlotte.


I finished six seasons in one entire week – I know, this is hardcore binging. I have never seen the entire series, all at once ever. As a kid, the show would play late night, and I only caught a few minutes of the episodes not comprehending the plot or anything. I was never a die-hard fan.

Now having watched the series as an adult, I have a vastly different opinions and thoughts. Three in particular – One: wow, what a huge disservice to women in New York. Two: Carrie is stupid. Three: Miranda is my profound favorite.

I think it’s natural for us to want to cling to a particular character – whether they have archetypes that we obtain or aspire to have. Of course, like with most women-relationship centric shows, I try to find myself in these characters. While it can be for the obvious reason, I could be a Carrie, but then I realized, I am not quite like her.

I wasn’t like anyone – they all had a little something-something that summed up me, but not solely one character.

Carrie is immature in a lot of ways. Though her humor is fabulous and so is her shoe collection, a columnist who cannot prioritize her finances was not cute. How is she making that much money and spending it on Manolos? Not only that, I think her obsession with being in a relationship was stupid. I’d never move to Paris with a man because he says, “Let’s go” or some shit. For me, you better put a ring on it if you are trying to take me out of New York. I am not kidding.

I understand that there may be a population of women who are obsessed with relationships, but let’s just say, I’ve never been the type to really, really chase for love. So yeah, that is my verdict on Carrie.

I grew to admire Miranda throughout my binge. It’s ironic because I remember when I was younger, a lot of girls did not want to be the Miranda, so I didn’t want to be the Miranda. But Miranda is a realist, though she can come off as a thousand percent cynic. I liked how she was very judgmental and asked the fearful questions because, well, someone has to do it, right? Call someone out on their shit and be that honest friend. Her life seem more attainable and the way she carried herself. Her issues were more than trying to get laid or chase some fantasy relationship. Although she did complain about not having sex in a few episodes.

I am not undermining Carrie’s issues, but c’mon. 

I did not want to write another blurb dissecting every true/false depiction of Women in New York because other major publications have done it and well, I don’t have time to do something that detailed. But I figured I share some initial thoughts as soon as I wrap up the series while

Here’s my last thought – the frequency of ladies who lunch is not attainable whatsoever….Four grown women dining together like that all the time? I have to plan weeks out to get time with the girls. Seriously.

Ta-ta for now!



writing is personal

October 11, 2016

I was asked, “Do you write for yourself?”

That may sound like a silly question to you, but it really raises the question: are you doing it for yourself or for an audience?

For me, writing has always been so personal. Before I went some sort of public with my life through Xanga, I have always confided in spiral bind college-rule pages as a young girl – a time where I was more reserved and had no one to talk to. I remember old journals filled up with sparkly gel-pens – ah, those pubescent ages. 

Now approaching the latter of my twenties, my blog and my private journal continues to be the spaces where I share my thoughts. But I bounce back to the original question – if I am writing for myself or an audience, often.

A photo by Dustin Lee.

Do I gear towards a central theme because I know it will create buzz? This is my publicity and marketing brain speaking. Or do I write about the shit I go through and just share it with the World in hopes it will connect with people? This is me talking. 

I think it is what I choose to write about that will make me steer one way or the other…

Truthfully, it’s never solely the former. However, doing the work that I do now such as heading up thecnnekt, it is a mesh of both. I want to write stories that remain personal, but can spark that connection between the audience. I want the reader to feel whatever I am feeling. I want their thoughts to be provoked!

This is because based on what our contributors and I have shared with the public – the feedback our team has received has been tremendous. I really think we are onto something great! 

But at the end of the day (and in my private journal), I do write for myself as a way to document my life – keep tabs on my development and well, sanity.

So if you asked me that question again, I don’t know if I can simplify my response for you.






onward, shall we?

October 6, 2016

I was encouraged to enjoy the time off before I transition into my new role. I am one of those people who always stayed busy, so when I don’t have anything to do and time off, I don’t know what to do with my time, and end up stressing out about having too much free time.

I know, I sound pretty ridiculous.

It’s because I never had that luxury. Anyway first things first, I’ll update you with that I am no longer working in PR.

And I am quite relief to be honest. 

Holding off on the storytelling of this and major announcements as I am trying to be more mindful of the now and not look backwards.

When your future boss gives you a later start date than expected, you “enjoy the time off.” So, I booked a quick trip to DC to visit The Lee’s in their new neighborhood: Washington DC.

Luckily for me, the bus ticket was only $19 because I had a discount. Talk about #winning.

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There are definitely more pictures I took on this trip, but only sharing a few because it will take forever to edit and upload and all that good stuff. You know me, I can be quite lazy. Plus, thecnnekt’s having our Soft Launch tonight and I have to get balloons. And I am nervous and excited at the same time for the turn out!


Okay, will write and share more soon!