I feel stupid for saying this, but I actually don’t know how to take a “personal day”.
I am addicted to my work. Sometimes I feel like my work defines me, but I am also learning in this adulting process is that You are You and Your Work is Your Work and the two don’t overlap often.
But it can, can’t it?! I feel like my worlds integrate a lot, and I am my work. I write, connect, strategize, create. I am my work, right?
Anyway, I am writing about this because I am going through a lot lately. Friends tell me to take a day off and relax, and I can’t help, but feel the need to be productive…
Back to the whole I am not feeling mentally well thing – please note I am also not the type that is like woe is me. I do feel like I’ve reached my breaking point, and in this very moment, I am not the best version of myself.
And it makes me sad to even write this.
You know, it gets very exhausting to front the whole “I am okay” face to the World. My good friend, Tran, said that self-care is a skill. Let that soak in: a skill.
A skill I have yet mastered, apparently.
After reading so many self-care articles, I do believe self-care is beyond the bubble baths, face masks, and all these fine luxurious shit that you see on social media. Honestly, I actually don’t know if being in a bubble bath will actually calm my thoughts…
To me, self-care means learning to say “no” and put yourself first, constantly working on healthy thoughts, disconnect if need be, and the rest I am still learning, obviously.
So while I have been a complete mess these last couple of weeks and have been fully transparent about my emotional state undergoings (is this even a word?) on Twitter, I am being mindful about actionable next steps.
I question myself with – what makes me feel better? What makes me happy? What relaxes me? That is a start.
As I transition into this uncertainty stage of my life, once again, I am very thankful by the abundance of support. It really means a lot to me when I feel like I am alone sometimes and I feel like I am not going to be okay. Although you tell yourself affirmations and things will be okay, sometimes hearing it from loved ones, makes you feel better!
I am going to be okay.
Thanks for reading, family and friends. Until next time – and I got a juicy one for you!