Category Archives: lifestyle

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slow the fuck down

April 24, 2017

I have this tendency to rush through things because I am thinking what’s next. That is not to say I am not ever present, because I am. Especially in the age we are in – so digitally connected, I have held back a lot on social media to be mindful of my present experiences.

Not everything needs to be documented. 

But I was having this conversation with Tiffany yesterday at the park, like how we rushed into adulthood, and I confessed that I have always ushered myself to grow the fuck up. It would explain why I am the way I am, but also why at 27 I feel slightly burnt out. I shouldn’t even feel this way because I am still in my prime, tender years, but no, I feel old inside.

At the same time … 

The hustle is real everyday, genuinely, I am teaching myself to slow down when I can, which are the late evenings and on the weekends. Little things such as treating myself to that extra hour of sleep or having a decent breakfast before I rush to be a Weekend Warrior. This is all part of this ongoing self-care practice that I’ve been pushing myself to be mindful of and do constantly.

I have to say, being impatient and rushing, has always been embedded in me. New York has deepen this flaw of mine, ha! Time has always been luxurious to me and though we all have the same amount of time, it is how we use our time is makes us all different, right? If we are being productive and impactful.

Perhaps that is why I want to do much as I can within my awake hours, and go to sleep proudly when I reflect on how accomplished day was. I just want to maximize my time, man.

This is a random post, but my intentions were to make you think about your self-care routines and do you ever slow down?

If you don’t – this me telling you so. Slow the fuck down. 

xo.

c

 

hi, wsup, wsuh, what’s good

January 16, 2017

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Damn, it’s been awhile hasn’t it? 

My bad. You know what they say? Life happens.

Visiting my parents and friends last months made it harder to leave California this time. I think also because I was in a very vulnerable state and needed an escape. In all, wonderful trip and I wish I can go back because of the warmer weather, but I am happy to be back at home doing my thang. Came back to New York and left all the shit that I dealt with back in California.

The last couple weeks of 2017 has been great. A friend told me I was glowing. GIRL, GLOW UP. Just kidding.

It has been great because work has been better – finally getting a grip – and thecnnekt.com is growing! I finally learned how to balance life and work – stay tuned with an upcoming story.

Thecnnekt got a facelift, exciting upcoming content (we just filmed our first interview!), and just a lot of that new, new. Hella thrilled. #StayTuned

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I was not kidding when I said I was embarking a clean slate – it certainly feels like it. I am just excited to see what this year will bring. A whole lot of newness and goodness despite what is going in the World.

I just quickly wanted to check in and say: I am alive. I am better.

BTW when you’re in some type of mood.

When you can tell your story and it doesn’t make you cry, that’s when you know you’ve healed. – Unknown

xoxo.

2017: The Year of Focus & Action

December 25, 2016

I am writing to you from my parents’ sofa on Christmas Eve. Streaming Hunger Games Mockingjay part two, and my ass is glued to this very seat for the last five hours. It feels good, but watching show after show made me feel like I needed to be productive and flex my creative muscle.

So viola! 

Disclosure, I started on this draft a couple weeks ago on the F train to Brooklyn. But I began refining as the days went on. After reading through my last post, it only made sense for me to write about what to look forward to in the New Year.

By tradition, I come up with an annual theme and center my goals around something that really needs attention on. In 2014, I told myself it was okay to be selfish. In 2015, I was becoming a better woman. In 2016, I heavily practiced intentions. In 2017, I intend to stay focus and take action. 

Generally though, I have to say, I am a pretty actionable woman, but could use some discipline in being focused.

Finances – I have accrued so much debt in the last couple of years. Good and bad decisions altogether. But when I closely look at my finances, I want to make better decisions and set myself up for a healthy credit score. In order for me to do this and making above minimum credit payments, I devised a plan of how to slowly tackle my debt. This means less coffee purchases, fancy dinner dates, and fast-fashion consumption (this is very rare btw). But in short, to be more mindful of my purchases and make financial goals for myself – like save up for a trip in 2018.

Health – this category encompasses the mind, body, and soul. I haven’t trained as hard as I used to. For many reasons, but as I hear myself say repeatedly, “I have no time,” yet I make time for drinking engagements that does more damage to my body than good. I need to stop bitching about having no time because clearly I do. I know it’s often cheesy and one of the primary goals for the New Year is to drop pounds, but I am not here to say that I am one of those individuals. It is more like staying healthy and fit because it makes me feel good. Just do better because I know I am capable of it. As far as my mind and soul, just practicing old affirmations and do what makes me feel good and happy. 

Personal development –  I have always struggled with being compassionate with myself. The reason for this is because I know I can do better and have this tough love attitude with myself (it is embedded in me, okay). I didn’t realize how crippling I was talking and treating myself until a friend pointed it out. I am fully aware about self-love and all this jazz, trust me. But right now, I need to reteach myself all these wonderful old lessons. I want to continue to be bolder, expand my knowledge, and volunteer in the community more. Yes, that means being an advocate and/or activist. Lastly to really outdo myself, truly get out there more and step out of my comfort zone – learn a new skill or pick up a new hobby. This falls into the “be bold” part. 

My goals this year are a little more elaborative compared to the previous years. I don’t know where this profound motivation and this need to conquer came from, but these last few months, I’ve gain more clarity than throughout the year, and set myself up for success. I am done bitching about these last two months and how emotionally exhausting it has been. Enough talking, more walking if you know what I mean.

Closing this entry with this message in case any of my friends are going through some rough patches of their own:

One day, in retrospect, the year of struggle wills trike you as the most beautiful. – Sigmund Freud

With love,

C

2016 in a nutshell

December 17, 2016

The year is coming to an end and by tradition, I reflect what has happened in the last 12 months. Things I’ve learned, succeeded – you know, all that emotional, provoking shit. 

Tiffany and I explored Dyker Heights last Friday and we talked about our year. While she and I are going through changes, we had to look deeper. It was actually a great year for the both of us.

This is typical right? Where we are often fixated on the things we don’t have than the wonderful things we do have. 

I get extremely annoyed with myself when I forget to check myself – that is count my blessings. It’s so easy for us to get wrapped up in the negativity and spiral down from there. Enough of that, my pits (lows) and peaks (highs) of 2016: the Year of Intention. 

Peaks: 

  • a lot of family time; Houston this past summer was one of my favorite memories. Everyone all dolled up for my aunt and uncle’s anniversary party and getting drunk and high with my cousins. No more chocolate. Ever. 
  • Travelled more than I thought I would’ve. Quick weekend getaways, but that’s better than nothing. Seattle, The Bay, Virginia, and DC
  • Launching thecnnekt, obviously. A project I’ve had in the works for a very long time and to see the success right now always makes me wanna cry because this is something I never saw coming and just fulfills me in ways I cannot express to you. Truly excited to see the growth of the project next year 
  • Falling in love. This is something I rarely highlight because I’ve displayed my affection on social media when I was in that relationship. But it’s true, one of the best feelings is love and I’m so thankful I’ve got to experience that. I feel like I overcame this fear of being vulnerable with someone. But I have to say after this experience, I need to focus on myself for awhile.  
  • #Girlboss moves. This year I recognized my value. The year where I put my foot down and asked for more pay, sought a title change, and made a lateral move.

Pits: 

  • Election 2016. You already know how I feel. I’m still angry. 
  • Lost my job. Only because I wasn’t in control and really put my finances in a rut. It made me realize to always a Plan B and devise a Fuck Off Fund
  • Break ups are rough.

I believe life has a way of figuring itself out. This will pass, is what I remind myself. 

I don’t say this often about myself, but yeah, I am pretty badass!

As I begin to draft ideas for 2017, I am excited to see what’s in store for me. Went through a lot personally and professionally this year, so I am hoping next year I can catch a fucking break. Plus, I’ll be creeping in my “late twenties” which I am so excited about. Very excited (:

I AM A GROWN ASS WOMAN. 

I mean, I’ve been grown, but now when I say I am in my late twenties people will look at me more respectable and not categorized me as a “baby.” 

K, bye.

c

sex and the city

October 16, 2016

It’s Sunday night and I just finished hanging out with Carrie, Miranda, Samantha, and Charlotte.

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I finished six seasons in one entire week – I know, this is hardcore binging. I have never seen the entire series, all at once ever. As a kid, the show would play late night, and I only caught a few minutes of the episodes not comprehending the plot or anything. I was never a die-hard fan.

Now having watched the series as an adult, I have a vastly different opinions and thoughts. Three in particular – One: wow, what a huge disservice to women in New York. Two: Carrie is stupid. Three: Miranda is my profound favorite.

I think it’s natural for us to want to cling to a particular character – whether they have archetypes that we obtain or aspire to have. Of course, like with most women-relationship centric shows, I try to find myself in these characters. While it can be for the obvious reason, I could be a Carrie, but then I realized, I am not quite like her.

I wasn’t like anyone – they all had a little something-something that summed up me, but not solely one character.

Carrie is immature in a lot of ways. Though her humor is fabulous and so is her shoe collection, a columnist who cannot prioritize her finances was not cute. How is she making that much money and spending it on Manolos? Not only that, I think her obsession with being in a relationship was stupid. I’d never move to Paris with a man because he says, “Let’s go” or some shit. For me, you better put a ring on it if you are trying to take me out of New York. I am not kidding.

I understand that there may be a population of women who are obsessed with relationships, but let’s just say, I’ve never been the type to really, really chase for love. So yeah, that is my verdict on Carrie.

I grew to admire Miranda throughout my binge. It’s ironic because I remember when I was younger, a lot of girls did not want to be the Miranda, so I didn’t want to be the Miranda. But Miranda is a realist, though she can come off as a thousand percent cynic. I liked how she was very judgmental and asked the fearful questions because, well, someone has to do it, right? Call someone out on their shit and be that honest friend. Her life seem more attainable and the way she carried herself. Her issues were more than trying to get laid or chase some fantasy relationship. Although she did complain about not having sex in a few episodes.

I am not undermining Carrie’s issues, but c’mon. 

I did not want to write another blurb dissecting every true/false depiction of Women in New York because other major publications have done it and well, I don’t have time to do something that detailed. But I figured I share some initial thoughts as soon as I wrap up the series while

Here’s my last thought – the frequency of ladies who lunch is not attainable whatsoever….Four grown women dining together like that all the time? I have to plan weeks out to get time with the girls. Seriously.

Ta-ta for now!

C

 

writing is personal

October 11, 2016

I was asked, “Do you write for yourself?”

That may sound like a silly question to you, but it really raises the question: are you doing it for yourself or for an audience?

For me, writing has always been so personal. Before I went some sort of public with my life through Xanga, I have always confided in spiral bind college-rule pages as a young girl – a time where I was more reserved and had no one to talk to. I remember old journals filled up with sparkly gel-pens – ah, those pubescent ages. 

Now approaching the latter of my twenties, my blog and my private journal continues to be the spaces where I share my thoughts. But I bounce back to the original question – if I am writing for myself or an audience, often.

A photo by Dustin Lee. unsplash.com/photos/jLwVAUtLOAQ

Do I gear towards a central theme because I know it will create buzz? This is my publicity and marketing brain speaking. Or do I write about the shit I go through and just share it with the World in hopes it will connect with people? This is me talking. 

I think it is what I choose to write about that will make me steer one way or the other…

Truthfully, it’s never solely the former. However, doing the work that I do now such as heading up thecnnekt, it is a mesh of both. I want to write stories that remain personal, but can spark that connection between the audience. I want the reader to feel whatever I am feeling. I want their thoughts to be provoked!

This is because based on what our contributors and I have shared with the public – the feedback our team has received has been tremendous. I really think we are onto something great! 

But at the end of the day (and in my private journal), I do write for myself as a way to document my life – keep tabs on my development and well, sanity.

So if you asked me that question again, I don’t know if I can simplify my response for you.

C

 

 

 

 

onward, shall we?

October 6, 2016

I was encouraged to enjoy the time off before I transition into my new role. I am one of those people who always stayed busy, so when I don’t have anything to do and time off, I don’t know what to do with my time, and end up stressing out about having too much free time.

I know, I sound pretty ridiculous.

It’s because I never had that luxury. Anyway first things first, I’ll update you with that I am no longer working in PR.

And I am quite relief to be honest. 

Holding off on the storytelling of this and major announcements as I am trying to be more mindful of the now and not look backwards.

When your future boss gives you a later start date than expected, you “enjoy the time off.” So, I booked a quick trip to DC to visit The Lee’s in their new neighborhood: Washington DC.

Luckily for me, the bus ticket was only $19 because I had a discount. Talk about #winning.

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There are definitely more pictures I took on this trip, but only sharing a few because it will take forever to edit and upload and all that good stuff. You know me, I can be quite lazy. Plus, thecnnekt’s having our Soft Launch tonight and I have to get balloons. And I am nervous and excited at the same time for the turn out!

Ah!

Okay, will write and share more soon!

C

not mia, just focused

September 18, 2016

I remember there was a specific time frame in college, where I was busy doing me, and I got a lot of shit from other people. Shit like:

Why you so MIA? 

I was just focused, obsessed maybe, with doing well in all categories in my life. That meant excelling in my academics and graduating by my goal-date, contributing to organizations, my internship (which did catapult my fashion career), and working part-time at the student recreation center, all while trying to obtain some fitness regime.

I rarely had time to go to social gatherings – or what I used to say: “fuck shit up” with my friends. I just had different priorities then, and I still do now. But back then, I carried this guilt with me. I always felt bad that I couldn’t attend a mixer, or participate in fun things because I obviously knew I had to study, work, or take a trip back to Pomona to visit my family. Trust me, I had a strong case of the FOMO before the term was even established.

I remember going to Downtown Fullerton while there were deadlines and other pressing matters to attend to. But I was young, wild, and cared too much about peoples’ opinions of me then.

But what is much different now compared to then is the guilt that was with me is utterly gone. Now, when I am working on something for thecnnekt, but missing on the latest party in Brooklyn, I don’t feel bad.

The great thing about growing up is giving less fucks. Seriously. 

My desire to go out and stay out late is nonexistent. My priorities have changed a lot, and my ass is more on the line than my wild college years (Circa 2009 – 2011) because well, I am adult now. There is no guilt and shame when I say, “I can’t make it” or “I don’t want to go out tonight.”

I am doing me – just focused on being a better version of myself right now and tunnel vision about my goals.

So, I understand why people are being MIA – they’re just busy doing them. S’all good.

 

 

 

 

balance & gratitude

August 16, 2016

I am having difficulty with finding balance with life right now along with other details that I am not ready to share. While I try to compose my emotions and thoughts, parts of me want to give up on adulthood and chasing this dream. 

I think it is easy to run far away from your problems. Parts of me think it’s cowardly, to be honest. To keep fighting for whatever you want takes a lot of guts and resilience. I know my Mom taught me better than to do the Kayne Shrug and walk away from what I’ve worked hard for.

In moments like these – what I like to call Darkness (I know, this is so broad, but trust me it’s filled with so many dark emotions), I like to reflect on the things and people I am grateful for and how amazing my Humid Summer has been.

Then, makes me think about the bigger picture – it ain’t so bad. Calm the eff down, Chary. 

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These are just some highs of Summer. My takeaway from this Summer is spending time with loved ones – family and friends, and is finding focus in certain things like my current project thecnnekt. 

So family and friends, whether you’re having a shitty ass day, week, month, or however long this Darkest Moment is for you – don’t forget to look at the good shit that is happening in your life. It will change your perspective and attitude – especially in your life.

Like let’s be honest – it ain’t thaaaaat bad. 

In the words of Albus Dumbledore: Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times. If one only remembers to turn on the light.

– C

i’m not a blogger

July 8, 2016

This draft has been sitting in my inbox since February. It is now July and I have not wrapped my head around to why I have not decided to make this live. But in recent news, there is so much shit the World is facing and I thought I share the root of why I feel the way I do about this topic. 

I get insulted when someone calls me a “blogger.”

Why would I? It makes sense – I have a blog, and I write blog posts.

In my world, the title “Blogger” has a connotation, as naturally as some words do. After working in two agencies, five NYFW seasons, breathing fashion, and meeting so many “bloggers,” I have developed strong feelings for the title.

A strong distaste that is.

They are now called “influencers.” As much as I hate to give them such a title, they shaped the direction of how brands approach consumers. Brands utilize these figures to excel in overall exposure and sales growth.

I understand this completely – it’s a business, right? But here is my rant with these digital influencers:

There is so much noise. I see so many of these “bloggers” who aspire to be the Song Of Style or Sincerely Jules. Bloggers with that unicorn hair. When I take a closer look at these style mavens, their styles somehow overlap and blend a little – it happens, I guess. Everyday I work on finding these stylish people all over the country, and the more accounts and personal style blogs I explore, the more they all seem the same.

Ultimately, #basic.

I begin to question brand loyalty or if this digital influencer is a total sellout. I think about authenticity. 

Putting personal style posts aside, when it comes to the things they share on their social media, I do not find anything noteworthy. I am certain that these people are real and care about other things than what they wear on their backs. But instead, all I see are pictures and the glamorous life they paint on social media. It’s cool – do you, but honestly I have no desire to follow up with all things superficial.

I want real shit. I crave substance. 

I am being too blunt and probably insensitive, I know.

Now I hope you can imagine why I would be offended when someone would call me a blogger.

Also note, if you’ve been with me since I launched my website and/or know me personally, at the end of the day, I am not trying to be a fashion blogger. 

I moved to New York to become a writer in the editorial space. While my background is fashion focused and I slay in my day-job, being some fashionista living in New York is not my life goal.

I want to be a successful, frequently published writer (and editor) talking about things that pertain to the more important matters in life rather than the shoes that I am wearing.

So yeah, ask me if I am a blogger, and I will correct you. I am a writer. 

/ end rant and thought.

– C

PS: shout out to the bloggers who ultize their Voice in sharing the heavy subjects with your audience. We need more of you representing in the fashion space.