2014: The Selfish Year

December 29, 2014

The year is ending Wednesday…are you freaked out? I am. Not about like the World is going to end or a zombie apocalypse, but more about how insanely time is flying. Seriously, where did 2014 go?!

It was just yesterday when 2014 dawn on us and I was celebrating with my dearest friends in Orange County, checking out the Disneyland fireworks. Now? I am celebrating the New Year in New York, where I officially call it Home.

I always wanted to do the whole Times Square thing, but just waiting all day for the damn ball to drop does not sound too exciting either. So, no.

Now, my favorite part! Time to reflect on this past year. Many highs and very few lows, fortunately. This year was a blast and quite a ride in every aspect of my life. Coming to realizations in a lot of things. You know, the good stuff that comes with Life: lessons.

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I am bestowing the Year of 2014 as The Selfish Year. This year was all about me, filled with complete selfishness. Yes. Me, myself and I. As much as that sounds egotistical and immensely self-absorbed, I’ve realized it is okay – to an extent. Let me share a prevalent reminder:

“Your 20’s are your ‘selfish’ years. It’s a decade to immerse yourself in every single thing possible. Be selfish with your time, and all the aspects of you. Tinker with shit, travel, explore, love a lot, love a little, and never touch the ground.” – Kyoko Escamilla

I have shared this quote earlier on this year in this post here, which was written almost a year ago. Some things don’t change, do they?

How am I being selfish? Almost in every way possible. I know, that sounds horrible. But I’ll explain. Well, I did moved across the country to pursue my dreams. I did not move to chase the dreams my parents laid for me – some medical or education field. Far from it, Mom & Dad.

I try to balance between being unselfish and being selfish; I believe I am a mindful and considerate individual, but when it comes to certain things such as goal-getting, I do have to put myself first, because if I don’t, who will? Especially here in New York, where we all partake in this ‘rat race.’ Remember where a former Editor stole my story? Yeah, never letting that happen again. So, I have to watch my back.

Although the things I have learned half this year were more culture factors, things I already know as a twenty-somethings and even lessons I learned in 2013, this year got super personal. I learned some newer-ish things about my selfish ass self:

  • Friends and family saw this before I did: I am a cat lady. Tease all you want, but now that shit is opened, I can stop fighting my feelings about it. 2014, cats run the World. Sorry Bey.
  • I am a bitch, but I always reason with: I am a bitch who cares. I am telling myself this out loud and you know, it is not so bad.
  • Patience will never, ever, be my strongest suit. Deal with it.
  • Omitting the F-word and Shit is nearly impossible for me to remove from my daily vocabulary. Still a lady regardless.
  • I am dramatic. Not an annoying-super-diva-kind-of-way, but I can overreact sometimes when things are not in my favor. It is my inner-brat. I react, cool down then respond accordingly.
  • A recent change: gravitate towards white wine always. Beer/Gin & Tonic sometimes, and rarely hard liquor. Almost never.
  • Found my medium of between being brutally honest and classy altogether. I pay attention to whom I am speaking to. If we are close friends, I might be a total bitch about it. Slapped you with reality and hug it out afterwards. If you are strictly looking for feedback and don’t want any sugar-coated filter, then hey, you’ve asked the right gal!
  • Maybe I am afraid of commitment. To a person. A dog. An outfit. An apartment. Whatever.

They say being selfish is a bad thing. It may be the negative connotation that comes with the term, but our generation is beginning to change the definition and look it at differently. I encourage people to be selfish, in moderation and with balance because I have learned so much about myself this year.

I am growing up, and it’s kind of scary. 

Above all, I am acknowledging that I am tremendously fortunate. Such a great support system that I cannot fathom at times. I could not be where I am without the amazing support and encouragement I have! I want to thank you, every single reader out there, who have been with me throughout my wildest adventures thus far. Old or a new reader, it does not matter, simply the fact that you stopped by and tuned in for one, two reads, whatever it may be, I greatly appreciate it.

You all inspire me, believe it or not. Thank You for that (:

Cheers to a new, better you and me in 2015

– C

*illustrations by S