One of my goals this year is to stay true to myself.
What does this mean to me? Well, it is about to get personal here.
I went on a date a few weeks ago. We laughed, drank, and enjoyed a nice walk in Brooklyn.
He is cuter and shorter than what his Bumble profile led on. Yeah, I care about height. A man in tech with a great sense of humor. We talked about random things, good things, but not anything that blew my mind. Let’s just say, I have had better stimulating conversations.
He’s smart, cute, and funny and our evening was fun and filled with silly laughter, but…
I was not feeling it. There were no sparks flying or fireworks booming, loudly in the background. Nothing.
Sure, he may be looking for a relationship as am I, but is that it? There has to be more than having the same intentions, for me to invest in.
I have been in a similar situation before – with my ex-boyfriend.
If you are baffle with my thoughts here, let me compare it to shoes: would you purchase a pair of shoes because it is on sale? There are so many variables involved, right? The biggest ‘pro’ on your list is, you will be saving some money. The ‘cons’ are the size is slightly bigger and the color is definitely bold for your signature style – like a metallic purple.
If is not to my exact liking, then I rather save my money for something I want to be jumping and screaming about – like my Adidas Ultra Boost.
I am not crazy, right? There is logic in all of this.
I need to not convince myself that certain styles, people, activities, books, and scenes are me. Yes, I will be open-minded and try it at least once, but I am not going to keep continuing doing whatever it is, wearing whatever pieces and brands, or hanging out with whoever it is, that doesn’t reflect my true essence and my wants and needs.
I know this sounds all too familiar or basic common knowledge, but easier said than done, my friend. I am sure we all have faced these situations where we remain in the middle, or uncertain how to proceed forward, so we stick it out. Or we tolerate it a little – we begin to compromise our wants and needs for something that may potentially work out. This applies to all spectrums of our life.
This is what I mean by staying true to myself. I need to be more diligent about listening to my inner voice about things, especially when it comes to dating.
Yeah, I want the butterflies and sparks. Can’t help it, I am a hopeless romantic masked as a realist and part-time cynic.