Today I woke up feeling sad. As I folded my blanket, I thought – maybe I should move back home. But I asked myself loudly, “What the fuck am I going to do with my life?”
I took a long walk during my break trying to shake off the feeling and called one of my best friends, Mommy.
You’d think after I have created a life for myself here and staying afloat, my Mom would stop the whole move-back-home-nagging-thing.
She’s just looking out for me because she’s my mom – I totally get it. Or maybe she misses me…But I I understand her message – she wants me to save money rather than paying an arm and a leg for rent. I know her intentions are well, but this subject never ends up resolved or in positive spirits.
It was brought it up again… Asking me why I had to move across the country to do the same work that I could’ve done in LA. How do you explain to your parents that this experience will teach you, build your repertoire, and overall, the quality of life is better?
How do I translate having a job from a career is different in Cambodian for my parents to understand? I try to find real-life situations and simplify them for her to understand, but I am at lost for words because of the language barrier.
Then it leads to a larger thought: I typically wonder if our parents understand why we do what we do and decide to take the unconventional path. Read: following our passions rather than finding financial security.
Series of questions, and it upsets me because I wish I can find solutions to this so-called problem. I don’t know what results I am exactly looking for…I guess what upsets me is that I wish my mom would give me more credit.
As much as I am stubborn about many things, I do consider my mom’s feedback important and maybe that’s why I get so defensive about this matter. Should we care what our parents think?
I’ll stop with the questions, now.
If you have similar feelings as I am, then you should read a piece written by a good friend, Jayda. She is spot on with every emotion and thought. You can find her blog here.
I have to constantly remind myself that today is one of those days. I’m just having a bad day, not a bad life.