to closing doors

September 11, 2017

So, I quit my job.

The job that I randomly fell into and rode out for almost a year – yeah, that job. It is crazy how the Universe will answer your asks and prayers (when you work diligently).

I wasn’t happy. I was that broken record who played the same verse, all the damn time.

Last year, around this time, I was let go due to embarrassing and unfortunate circumstance… I took the opportunity because I thought maybe, just maybe, I can do this. I did slay, of course, but I told myself, that I will be a doing myself a disservice (my happiness specifically) if I stayed any longer.

I couldn’t stomach another day filled with these ridiculous expectations and stress.

The resignation part was something I found very difficult to do. I literally had to google “Resignation Letter” to find a sample. I am comparing this to a relationship breakup, okay. I wanted to end it because it no longer fulfilled me and brought me happiness. It (the romantic relationship) didn’t treat me terribly, as in no abuse whatsoever. It gave me my space (read: work/life balance). It did serve me instant gratification (sorta) with a bi-weekly paycheck, but long-term I knew this would be a fluke.

I couldn’t help but classify this as one of those “it’s not you, it’s me” kind of scenarios. My team has always been a supportive bunch, so it had nothing to do with them. It was me. But the great outcome of this entire experience is that, it did give me flexibility to grow thecnnekt the way it has grown, and I am grateful for that!

A friend told me that quitting a job you’re miserable in is an act of self-love. I respect myself to walk away from all of this and find something that brings meaning and joy to my life. So, I guess you can say yeah, it’s an act of self-love.

It’s time to close this door – I learned a lot and it definitely made me feel confident that whatever role I decide to leap into or an unfamiliar industry I transition into, I can handle it like a boss.

So, you’re probably wondering – well, what’s is your perfect job?

I have it already outlined – in my mind. I know what I want to do long-term and I already found my purpose in life *cough* thecnnekt  *cough* Right now, it’s a matter of how the hell am I going to get there. With time, I’ll know how to tackle my next steps in life and my career.

What’s next for me? You’ll see. 

Side note: I know this is pulling the trigger and may deemed as irresponsible. I am not going to throw a pity party – like oh at 27, I wish I had more of a clear vision of what I wanted out of life or I imagined myself here, or there. These standards made up by society are crippling as fuck. Soooooo fuck off. I am going to continue to do me and figure shit out – like I always do. 

There was no structure to this post, by the way. Sorry if my thoughts were scattered, but I wanted to write / vent away since you know, I am on #funemployment at the moment.

– c

PS: thank you, to all my friends who endured every fucking rant, tweet, and just my bat-shit craziness in the last few months. I also started birth-control too so that has impacted my emotions as well. Shout out to my mom who deals with my crying phone calls. You’re the best, Mommy!