i might as well say bye

December 9, 2017

To 2017, that is. 

Although there is still time left, I have already begun reflecting on this year and how everything unfolded.

I’ve learned a lot, and I know I say that very often, but hey, we’re all living and learning right? That is life.

Despite the World’s troubles and living in the Trump Era, 2017 was good to me. I will be honest – I lost a lot this year, too. People, mainly. But as we age, we will learn that time does not measure the value of a relationship, but rather the depth of it. As much it pains me to accept certain losses, it is all part of life. And … I have to get comfortable with that concept.

Regarding my dating life, it is unfortunate that I tend to learn about my worth after an end to a toxic relationship, but this time was different.

This year, I bid farewell the whole self-blame bullshit. I began to realize that I am not always the problem. And although two souls can be made for one another, if you two don’t essentially align with each other’s values, goals – it won’t work out. No matter how much you try and ignore the fact.

I’ve learned to walk away.

From people, places, things and a job that no longer served me. Who did a disservice to my happiness, peace, and sanity. More importantly, walking away from nouns that did not align with my life.

But here were the good outcomes – I am now in an environment where my skills and creativity are being utilized and challenged. But most importantly, learning about a business’ infrastructure first-hand so I can build my own in the near future.

Surrounded by women who lead with compassion and brains in conversations. Challenge me when I need to be, but mindful of delivery. That’s key. 

thecnnekt. This once-a-passion-project-now-evolved-into-a-serious-small-business has given me the opportunity to meet incredible people. People who aren’t / are like me. Not only networking and meeting fucking talented women, but learning from them. Man, I can’t describe how much thecnnekt makes me feel, but it truly has given me purpose and meaning to my life.

Another huge highlight  – Shrimp Chips and Chocolate Milk– my proudest work of this year. It is shocking to see your writing made into a short film and showcase in a local art show in Brooklyn. I made this announcement when I heard, but this was an official select in the St. Louis Film Festival (:

Oh, I also got a grip of my finances. I mean, I am still in debt, big time, but the fact that I recognize it and apply myself, means something. Also, in this process, I have acknowledge long-term goals like buying a home (something that I saw impossible). Yes, big goals.

While going through a heartache around Q4, I adopted a cat name Bagel to help me fill in the void. She’s become the love of my life. Now, I know what motherhood feels like. She just gives me so much joy despite her litter tracks in the apartment. I think she loves me, too.

I am just feeling very grateful for all the experiences this year. The good, the bad, all of it which makes me excited to go into 2018 with confidence and strength. 

signin’ off.